DISQUS

Diving Bored: Dear Mr. Studio Executive

  • Futaba · 1 year ago
    **Interoffice Memo**

    From: Futaba
    To: Tremeschko
    Re: "Dear Mr. Studio Executive"

    Fine work on that last piece. It's that kind of material which is sure to land you that parking space.

    Consult with senior staff in the future - you neglected to report on the phenomenal performances by a young Brooke Shields, the still very successful Smothers Brothers, the short but worthwhile cameo from Alyssa Milano and of course the venerable Peter Boyle.
  • Rory B Bellows · 1 year ago
    **Interoffice Memo**

    From: Tremeschko
    To: Futaba
    Re: Re: "Dear Mr. Studio Executive"

    I appreciate your commentary on the piece. I remain clear on my stated goal of getting a covered space by the East entrance before year's end.

    Regarding your criticisms, I believe you are missing the point of the article. I was not writing an ode to Speed Zone (what would be the point?). While I agree with all your points, I do not believe that they merit mention in my article, which was meant to engender action and response from the myriad studio executives who read the site. The scope of the article was broader than any singular movie. Speed Zone was merely an example meant to employ pathos based on its deep and widespread adoration.

    I appreciate your attention to the piece, and kindly request that you service yourself sexually and stop referring to yourself as senior staff. That, or, write more.
  • Futaba · 1 year ago
    **Interoffice Memo**

    From: Futaba
    To: Tremeschko
    Re: Re: Re: "Dear Mr. Studio Executive"

    With comments like that, you should consider yourself lucky that our HR department is only a half-eaten bag of Frito-lay Cheetos.

    My remarks weren't criticism, merely suggestions to your case for Speed Zone (even if it was just an example it was your highlighted movie of choice). The point which can't be ignored is that Peter Boyle is a lightning rod for DVD sales. The pitch needs to appeal to a studio's and distributor's bottom line.

    And that solution comes in the form of the Peter Boyle Box Set:

    Kickboxer 2
    Young Frankenstein
    Johnny Dangerously
    The Dream Team
    The Shadow
    Speed Zone

    Please also bear in mind that the senior staff is extremely busy with bored-meetings and new business ventures.

    We're here to slander and mock democracy, not to practice it.
  • Lone Janwitz · 1 year ago
    How could you forget Peter Boyle's film, Red Heat, in which he played swarmy and angry police captain to Jim Belushi's screw-up Chicago cop and Arnold Schwarzenegger's visiting loose-cannon Soviet police detective? I know that is in the Boyle Box Set.